A Mom’s Super Power

A Mom’s Super Power

Moms have a special gift. Their gift does not involve shooting lasers from their eyes or flying; it involves their stamina, their loyalty, their love. I am willing to bet there are no other people on this earth more willing to put others before themselves than a mom is for her children. I am willing to bet that no one will take up for you more than your mom. Why is this? Why for thousands of years have women, moms specifically, been so loyal and willing to go the extra mile for the ones they love?

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Loosen Up on the Leash

Loosen Up on the Leash

When I first heard this month the series was going to focus on parenting, my immediate reaction was . . . I’m not a parent. However, my lovely co-writers here at Ask God Today pointed out, “No, you are not a parent, but you have them.”

My junior year in college, I had the privilege of studying abroad in Winchester, England. Saying it was an amazing three months is an understatement. This was the first time that I had ever really made a life-changing decision for myself. I decided to go, and presented it to my parents.

Notice I said “presented,” not asked. They were skeptical, but willing to see me off on my England adventure. I spent those three months finding my way around, learning the transportation, grocery shopping and buying the necessities when they were needed. For the first time in my life I did not have Mom and Dad there to save me if something went wrong. It was invigorating, freeing, and something I didn’t want to let go of. Then the semester ended and I flew home.

The first few months of my return were some of the worst in my relationship with my mother.

At 21 years old, I had just come from living on my own and surviving . . . no thriving, back to “my house, my rules.” (I’m sure parents reading this know that saying.)

Well, I felt like I was not being allowed to grow as an adult. Coming home to answer for every single thing I did was suffocating. It may seem like a silly thing for a 21-year-old to rebel like a 16-year-old, but I did. This only made Mom grab hold of those reins more tightly. I was mean for no reason, assuming anything that came out of her mouth would be a new rule or punishment. We fought all the time. It caused a lot of tension in our relationship.

After a few months of this we finally broke and talked it out through lots of tears. I felt I was being treated like a child and she felt she was losing hers. She saw that I was more independent, and in a final attempt to hold on to that baby girl she loved and still saw sitting there in front of her, she latched on in the only way she knew how.

You may have a teenage or adult child still living at home who is rebelling. They may be acting out and doing things in a way that seems to be on purpose to spite you.

May I ask that you take a look at how tightly you are holding on to the leash? Are you holding them so close your kid is choking just to get a few inches of movement?

Yes, there are situations when a kid really can go AWOL, but in most instances your child is trying to learn how to do things on their own.

Your children need space to mess up. They need space to try, fail, and learn from their own mistakes. Space to grow. Yes, it may be hard to see your baby mess up, but you will be there to comfort them when it happens.

Wouldn’t you rather give them their space, than to hold on so tightly they resent you and don’t come to you when something does go wrong?

This was true for my mother and me. It is a vicious cycle that, until a conversation takes place, can go on forever and possibly hurt the relationship between parent and child.

Parents, I am not implying that you should not have boundaries for your children, but when they get to the late teenage/young adult years,
it is time to loosen your grip.

I promise they will respect you more for allowing them to try and fail in the long run.

You need not fear
because the Word says that if you:

‘Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.’ Proverbs 22:6

They may stumble and fall every once and a while, but their heart knows where it needs to go.

Lead children well and then watch them fly. @morganwingler Click To Tweet

Comment below with how you have responded to your teen/young adult searching for independence? 

 

 

 

 

God Said to Stop Asking When

God Said to Stop Asking When

September 2015 was month three of the World Race for me. I had just spent the entire month in a small village in Cambodia and it was nearing time to move on to the next destination. My squad gathered together in Siem Reap for some development training and a few days of rest before we moved on, and one night my squad mate led a devotional and message for us. She handed out pieces of rice paper varying in color and had us pray and then write whatever came to mind and heart.

After about five minutes of writing, she prompted us to ball up our pieces of paper and have a fight with them. Whenever we picked up a piece of paper and felt like it was the one we needed, we were to (more…)

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