Man, what a year. I say that with lots of relief. 2015 was a year of long-suffering for our family. It was a year of many tears, doubts, and fears.
I started 2015 lying in bed ill with the flu on my 26th birthday. It was the first time I had ever had the flu, and I was also suffering from my first miscarriage. On January 7th I woke up groggy from cough syrup and very depressed from losing my pregnancy, to the pitter-pattering of my daughter’s feet, who was at home as well as my husband, both suffering from the flu. I noticed I had left the TV on and there was breaking news about the Charlie Hebdo terrorist attack. I thought, Really, God, what else?
I remember the day I felt heaven kiss earth.
I stood next to my youngest daughter, desperately praying for faith to believe what I could not see. I stood welcoming person after person offering condolences, sharing tears as each passed by her tiny casket. My body stood, but my mind? It swirled with questions and uncertainties, attempting to grasp the wisp of reality that eluded me.
How was I going to survive her death?
Was she really gone or was she somewhere else?
Was heaven for real?
Stories played like movies through my mind after my sweet girl died. Stories I studied in Scripture. Stories I had read to her. Like flipping through a Rolodex, I longed to find that ONE—THE story that would satisfy my longing for truth. (more…)