After being a mom for almost 20 years, there are many things I would love to call a “Do Over” on. My son is a becoming an amazing young man. He has a heart of gold to help others, and he works great with young children.
However, as a mom, I have pondered and thought…
Did I love him enough? I should have prayed with him more.
I wished I read more books with him.
I wished I had spent more time playing with him.
From a young girl I wanted to be a mom and loved children. However, we waited seven years before we had our first and only child. I loved being a mom, but I had this yearning God had something more in store for me. In my thirties I decided to become an interior designer, I worked hard to learn how to design, and how to to grow my business.
I loved having my own business, and being able to work from home most of the time. Many people in their thirties are working on their career while balancing home life. There was always so much to do. Taking care of our home, dinner, baseball practices and games, church activities, and plain ole life kept us running.
Reflecting back as my son approached his senior year in high school I tried to soak in every minute I could. I doubted myself as a mom. Sometimes I would pray about it, and God would gently reassure me I was a good mom. I did many good things as we raised our son, but felt there were many other things I could have done.
My parenting days are far from over, but I am not in the thick of the day-to-day routine of my child anymore. I miss him terribly when he is at college, but love how the dynamics of our relationship is transforming into friendship now.
He confides in me about major life decisions. Recently he shared in conversation about a verse he read in the Bible. My mama heart was so happy to know he is reading the Bible!
You see I will be the first to admit “I AM NOT A PERFECT PARENT.” However, I have a perfect God who has helped me to be an excellent parent in many ways.
You and I will mess up. I really wished I would have said prayers with him more as he was older. I didn’t, but I know he knows my heart.
I tell my parents all the time, and I believe it is true for my own son. I learned more from how my parents lived their lives than by anything they told me. Almost every morning when I left for school, my dad was up reading his Bible. This image made an imprint and impact on my life.
My dad did not simply read the Bible, he lived it. Both of my parents lived a godly life, worked hard, and loved all of us. They were not perfect either, but they trusted God through the process.
More is caught than taught.
Prayer for my marriage and parenting has guided me more times than I can remember when the waters were rough. I never have all the answers, but I pray and trust in the One who does.
Don’t strive to be supermom or superdad. Strive to be a godly man and woman for God. Your child will see how you live your life. When we fill up with God daily it spills over onto the people we love the most.
So, PRAY for your children, and use the acronym below as you strive to be the godly man or woman for your children.
P – Pray for your child.
The world is a tough place for kids. Pray for them daily.
R – Respect their bent – encourage them with their gifts and talents.
Encourage your kids to try different things. Conquer their fear to learn a new instrument, take ballet lessons, play football, run track, or be in a play.
My son tried sports, but was not really interested. He loves to hunt and fish, and found his calling when we bought him a 1999 two-door Tahoe for his sixteenth birthday. He loves to work on cars and trucks to make them run better or faster. As well as, he enjoys designing a new look for them. He has learned so much by having a vehicle he could work on.
A – Allow mistakes for you and your kids.
You will make mistakes as a parent. Be mature enough to admit it.
This was hard for me to learn. I did not see this modeled, and telling my son I had messed up as a parent was tough. Swallowing a big ole piece of pride was hard, and did not go down easy. It became easier the more I practiced it. No one enjoys admitting they were wrong, but when I did, our relationship grew.
Kids will make mistakes. My son was a great kid, but we dealt with some serious issues. I was glad we could deal with them at home before he ever made it to college.
Kids learn from mistakes as much as we do. Look for the life lesson, and don’t berate them for messing up. Let them know you are human.
Y – You are enough!
Your child does not need every fancy gadget, toy, or designer clothing in style. Your child wants Y-O-U. He wants your time, your love, and your understanding. They want guidance and boundaries. She needs you to be the parent, and not the best friend. Be the parent when they are growing up, and you can be their best friend as an adult.
If your child leaves home and makes decision your are not proud of, don’t blame yourself. Once your child is an adult, you need to give them room to make their own decisions. It is hard to watch them make wrong turns. Your kids will not do everything you like. As an adult, some decisions are between them and the Lord. Love them anyway.
Bailing your adult child out of bad situations is only going to make it worse. Let them fall. When a child is learning to walk, you let them fall to learn how to get back up on their own. The same principle applies when they make mistakes as an adult.
Pray for them. Help them as much as you can, but don’t take care of it for them.
What was the best thing you caught
or was taught by your parents?
Please share your comments below!
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