Have you ever been so upset with your circumstances that you yelled at God?
I remember a friend asked me once, “Haven’t you ever had a temper tantrum with God?” I was a little shocked at that question. Wouldn’t anger with God show irreverence? Didn’t Job do that when he reached his limit?
In one period of my life, trial after trial assaulted me from every direction. In between each one, I seldom had time to catch my breath.
Then came the trial that pushed me over the edge.
I had a temper tantrum—with God.
When I was a very small child, I suffered an illness that caused much damage to my physical body. I lived my whole life with a deformed foot that caused pain daily.
I scheduled a surgery that was intended to alleviate the pain. The surgery did help in one aspect. But a new deformity came with new pain, the inability to walk, or find a shoe that would fit my foot.
Not the outcome I expected!
Disappointment, frustration, and despair descended upon me.
In normal circumstances, a prayer walk helped me deal with struggles that I faced. How could I go on a prayer walk when I could not walk?
The tantrum began with a whisper.
I asked, “Really, God? Really? I have dealt with this pain and deformity my entire life, and accepted it with very little complaining. But this? You could have prevented THIS!”
I could no longer contain the tears. The dam broke.
All the pain I kept deep in my heart burst forth.
I held an empty shoe in my hand and shook it at God while I yelled, “Like I didn’t have enough to deal with, You had to let this happen, too?”
Once my anger was spent, my spirit stilled. No words raced through my mind. My emotions subsided. That is when I sensed God saying,
“Well, at least I got you to talk to Me!”
As I thought this through, I realized there were many times I did not go to the Lord with my concerns because I thought showing anger toward God was irreverent.
Yet He wanted to take the journey with me.
This situation taught me God’s shoulders are big enough to handle it all.
I can “cast all my cares on Him because He cares for me,” as it says in 1 Peter 5:7.
All my cares. All my disappointment, frustration, despair, and anger. He can handle it all. Even the anger when it is directed at Him.
Sometimes, lessons are learned the hard way.
A disappointing surgery and greater pain caused my view of God to broaden and made me realize I do not have to hold out on God or hide my feelings from Him.
What do you have hidden in your heart that you need to release to Him? You can tell us about it in the comments.
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