Today I am excited to introduce you to Eric Speir. He is a pastor and writer with a great encouraging message for us today. This post is perfect on Father’s Day for women and men.
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife,
and likewise the wife to her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:3
Happy Father’s Day from the Ask God Today Ministries team.
Here’s Eric with:
Tips To Help Your Husband Be The Spiritual Head of the Home
by Eric Speir
Being the spiritual head of the home is no easy task. For many men it’s unchartered territory. It’s hard because it’s hard to give something you’ve never had before. While it doesn’t come easy; it can be learned.
I wasn’t the spiritual head of our home when my wife and I first got married. It took me a while to grow into it, but with the help of the Lord and my wife I became the man God called me to be. Here are some key ways my wife helped me to become the spiritual head of our home and they can help your husband as well.
Start by praying and being patient with him.
I know what you’re thinking, “Well, duh!” When’s the last time you actually prayed about it, rather than complained about it? Never overestimate the simple power of prayer. I have a praying wife and that thought alone has built a lot of confidence in my life over the years.
Help Him To Avoid the Comparison Trap
It’s easy for a man to compare himself with those around him. When we play the comparison game we always lose. Another way you can help him to avoid the comparison trap is by refraining from using the phrase, “I wish you were more like…” If a man doesn’t feel like he can live up to your standards, he’ll usually not try.
Help Him To Foster Other Relationships With Like-Minded Men
Avoid nagging him when he wants to have a guy’s night. My wife has always encouraged me to do this. Early in our marriage my wife realized one of the best ways for me to become a better spiritual leader is to be around other spiritual leaders. Your husband can’t learn to be a better man by being around women all the time. The book of Proverbs says, “as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” The only way for iron to be sharpened is to clash with more iron. That’s why men enjoy sports, war movies and anything involving guns. We can’t help it; God wired us up this way.
Encourage Him To Find A Mentor or Peer Mentor Group
A few years ago I began meeting with two other men for breakfast on a biweekly basis. One of the men was a doctor and the other was a vice-president of a local bank. I often felt out of my league because they were both very accomplished professionals. I enjoyed meeting these two men because they appreciated me for who I was and not necessarily for what I had. This peer mentor group became a great way to encourage and spur one another on in our respective fields. A couple of years have gone by and I’m still good friends with these two men. I’m a better man today because I took the time to be around other great men.
Help Him To Start Small
When my oldest daughter was born it caused me to have a wake up call. I realized I didn’t have a clue on how to be a father, much less a spiritual one. I really didn’t know where to start. The first thing I started doing was praying with her before she went to bed at night. Years later, I still have a nightly routine of my putting my children to bed and praying over them. It seemed awkward at first, but the more I did it the more I became comfortable with it. Having success in this area gave me the courage and confidence to lead in other areas as well.
Avoid Nagging Him
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Foolish women tear their husbands down with their words. The Bible also says “the power of life and death is in the tongue.” Proverbs 14:1
We can either build people up or tear them down with our words. I can feed on a good compliment for days, especially one from my wife. Your husband needs to know you believe in him. Even if he’s not where you want him to be you need to find ways to appreciate where he came from and where he’s headed as a leader.
If you haven’t already figured it out my wife is smarter than I am. I know these suggestions work because they’ve worked in my life and in the lives of other men as well. It’s important to give him lots of encouragement and room to grow.
You might think your husband is not interested in this, but I promise once he taps into the divine purpose God has placed in his life he’ll want to grow to be the spiritual leader God has called him to be.
How can we pray for you? Please leave us a comment.
Bio for Eric Speir:
Eric Speir is a pastor, writer, college professor and serial encourager. He regularly blogs at www.EricSpeir.com and recently released his first book entitled, Stubborn Faith, a thirty-day devotional guide.
He’s committed himself to getting it right in his faith and family. He believes these are the two most important areas of our lives. His mission is to give people the encouragement and resources to thrive in their relationship with God and their family. He lives in South Atlanta with his wife, Roshelle, and their four children.
Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Eric-Speir/e/B00U87YNQC
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