Yesterday was my hubby’s birthday.  He had a great day, he said!  Sometimes, we have BIG expectations for our birthdays and then we are disappointed, because it just does not turn out the way we wished.  The best way not to be disappointed on your birthday is, have no expectations. Easier said then done, I know.  Today, I am going to share a few things which work for us in our marriage.  We all want to have a better spouse, but can we do what it takes to be a better spouse and help those we love be “Happy”?


Happy!                       Jeff and me at beach with sunset

How can we make our spouse “happy”?

1. Respect. If you want your husband or your wife to feel happy every day, and not only on their birthday, then you need show them respect.  Respect comes through our words, our time, and our attention, to name just a few.

 “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the  wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

  •  What kind of words does your spouse hear you say?  Are they words of encouragement or criticism?  I find if we will build our spouses up with kind and loving words, it will come back to us in blessings of love.  Choose your words wisely and encourage your spouse.
  •  How much time are you spending with your spouse?  Do they feel you want to be with them?  Are you sitting down with them and just doing nothing, if “just nothing” is all they want to do?  I know we are all busy.  So many things crave for our time.  We have to make a conscious decision to spend quality time with our spouses and do something they want to do.  Go out on a date, go for a walk, just sit on the couch to talk to each other, hold hands, and make love.  Make sure you are giving the time to your spouse that he or she needs.  The more you love, the more love and respect will come back to you.
  •  Does your spouse get your undivided attention? I have to admit I am not good at this.  Forgive me Jeff.  My phone distracts me, Facebook, emails and any other kind of notifications popping up all the time.  I am happy to say, God is working in this area of our lives as I become more aware of times when I don’t give my spouse the attention he deserves or desires.  Respect comes through our attention.  With the digital world we live in, we need to make sure we put aside our phones, or anything which distracts us, and PAY ATTENTION!!

2. Love. Love your spouse like you would want them to love you! My husband does a great job at this. He knows I love to have my back rubbed and he does it every night for me. He is very selfless. Love is like a circle. When you give it out, it comes back to you. It just keeps going round. The more my husband loves me, the more I love him back. Who is going to be first? If your spouse doesn’t love you the way you wish he or she would, then you start first. Do something for them you know they like. Don’t do it to get something in return, but do it, just because it makes your spouse feel loved. The Pastor who married us gave us some great advice. He said “everyday see who can out love the other that day”.

“And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” Colossians 3:14

3. Sex.  I have to talk about sex because a marriage is not a happy marriage without having intimacy in it. Men need it and women don’t, at least not as much. So, why did God create us this way?  Only He knows.  However, God has a purpose for everything.  Women, if you want to make your spouse happy, have sex with him.  Men, if you want to be happy, then put your wife’s desires above your own…and do whatever you can to make it about her, not you.  Men, when you do this, it will come back to you.  Pamper your spouse.

“The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4

I have listed just a few things to bring more happiness into your marriage. I could go on and on, but most of us don’t have time. Again, Happy Birthday to my sweet and selfless husband!! I thank God every day for you! I thank God for bringing me my very best friend in the world to share my life.

Jeff's Birthday
Ask God Today:
1. Ask God to forgive you for anything you have done, which has not been pleasing to God or to your spouse.
2. Ask God to bless your marriage.
3. Ask God to reveal one way today to make your spouse have a better day and then do it!

Please leave me a comment recommending one way you can make your spouse happier.

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About Brenda McGraw

Brenda McGraw is the founder of Ask God Today Ministries where a team of writers share hope and truth with others. She has a God-given dream to reach the masses with the gospel of Christ. Brenda is an author and speaker who reveals how to discover joy beyond the clutter of life. She draws from her own life experiences in the #1 Amazon Best seller,“Joy Beyond, 28 Days to Finding Joy Beyond the Clutter of Life”. She has two new books released. Finished, Top Ten Steps to Finish Writing a Book and Living Uncluttered, An Abundant Life Bible Study. Brenda lives in South Carolina with her husband, Jeff and one of their five children. She is a survivor of breast cancer and a heart attack. Despite the challenges she has endured, Brenda found peace through her relationship with Jesus Christ.
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